In order to succeed in the interview, the society is afraid that young people will pretend to be ＂social cows＂
After receiving the notice of dismissal from HR, Sun Yue, who pretended to be "social cow disease" (hereinafter referred to as "social cow"), was dumbfounded.
Sun Yue, who just graduated, once interviewed many companies, but was repeatedly ignored by the interviewer because he had too few words and a low sense of existence. Later, Sun Yue deliberately avoided the work that needed group meetings and found a small company to communicate with the interviewer one-to-many, acting as a totally different person from usual, and gained the interviewer’s praise on the spot.
That evening, Sun Yue received the offer.
However, after joining the company, in the open social environment, the true character of Sun Yue’s "social phobia" (hereinafter referred to as "social phobia") is gradually exposed: a person eats after work, talks with colleagues for no more than five sentences every day, and fails to communicate in time at work … which makes the leaders disappointed.
After five days’ probation, Sun Yue was dismissed.
Similar to Sun Yue’s experience, Lei Zhang was also a young man who was forced to perform "Social Cow". She talked about Kan Kan during the interview, which knocked the interviewer out. Finally, she got an offer and her salary increased by 20%.
However, young people who perform "social cattle" are generally difficult to pretend to the end with the deepening of their contacts with colleagues. They are often dismissed by their bosses, and even if they don’t, they are always worried that they will be persuaded out-this is almost the common fate of pretenders.
Lei Zhang is no exception. After receiving the offer, her first feeling was not happiness, but worry. The closer it is to the formal employment, the more serious Lei Zhang’s anxiety becomes. "After joining the job, the boss found that I didn’t perform so well in the interview. What should I do if I finally persuaded me to leave?"
Like Sun Yue and Lei Zhang, there are quite a few young people who used to be afraid of society, but in order to succeed in the interview, they pretended to be "social cows". Many of them can’t pretend to go on soon, and they have failed in the workplace. Some of them pretend to be successful and struggle to maintain the "social cow" in the workplace.
Wang Jian, who has been in the workplace for many years, is such an old social fear who has been pretending to be a "social cow". No matter what the occasion, Wang Jian can be very "social cow". However, only he knows that the boss and leader who are full of affinity in front of employees are actually senior old "social fears" who have to be alone for several hours when they go home at night and are not allowed to be disturbed by anyone.
Others choose to lie flat and stop performing. Although he lost two chances, Ding Feng was glad that he woke up early. Ding Feng, a 27-year-old product manager, pretended to be a "social cow" during the interview in order to get into the management of a big factory, and became the person she once hated most. After several failures, Ding Feng was finally able to face himself frankly. "Don’t perform in the workplace. It is best to reveal your true character to the interviewer and find a job that suits you."
Everyone knows the truth, but people can’t help themselves when they are in the rivers and lakes. Similar "performances" happen every day in the workplace.
The alphabet list chatted with four young people who once performed "Social Cattle" in the workplace. The following is their oral record.
Sun Yue, female, 24 years old, is currently unemployed.
"Pretending to be a social cow during the interview, I was fired after five days of trial."
When I just graduated, I interviewed many companies.
From startups to internet giants, all of them ended in failure, especially in several group meetings. I was ignored by the interviewer because I had too little words and a low sense of existence, and I became an NPC at the interview site. Every time I received the message "I’m sorry you didn’t pass the interview".
In these interviews, I found an experience: those who are extroverted and talkative really easily leave a good impression in interviews, especially in group meetings. Those who don’t show off in front of the interviewer and don’t respond well on the spot, like us, suffer a lot.
To this end, I deliberately avoided those jobs that required group meetings, and later found a small company. The position was event planning, and there was no group meeting. Only a few people, including me and the interviewer, talked face to face in a closed space.
For social fears, this is a friendly interview method, because the interviewer is only facing you from beginning to end, which allows me to focus on the chat content itself instead of dealing with complicated interpersonal relationships.
The interviewer asked me why I chose this job. I was very confident. I introduced my internship experience in the university naturally, worked as a member of the class Committee, organized class activities, etc., and stressed that I could do this job well.
Ignorant people are fearless. When the interviewer asked me what I thought about the ability to withstand pressure, I replied directly and domineering, "I will definitely try my best. After all, I am still young. If you have difficulties, just follow my sister and learn more!" I’m a different person from the one who doesn’t like glib words.
Finally, the interviewer was particularly satisfied. "Our company needs young blood like you!" I received an offer when I went back that evening, which was the smoothest interview experience I had.
But joining a job is different. In an open environment, I’m not familiar with everyone. When I need to deal with people, it’s hard not to expose my true character of "social fear":
I ran into the leader in the morning, but I couldn’t open my mouth. The leader greeted me first. At noon the next day, the team leader invited me to dinner. I was forced to introduce myself, and I felt very embarrassed. Calling friends, a colleague after work, exchanged ideas about where to play after work, and I always left silently for the first time.
Communicate with colleagues no more than 5 sentences every day. If I remember correctly, the first dinner after joining the company should be the most talked after I came to the company.
My first job was to design an activity plan. One day, the leader temporarily assigned me a task. I also habitually did it myself without communicating with the leader.
I didn’t finish it that day, and I didn’t work overtime in the company. Instead, I took my work home and did it at night. I sent the activity plan to the leader the next morning. After half an hour, the leader replied "ok" slowly, and I suddenly had an ominous premonition.
Sure enough, after the five-day trial, I received a notice from HR, telling me that the trial failed because I was not active enough to communicate with my colleagues and the gap with the company’s expectations was too large, which was a bolt from the blue for me.
The salary for these five days is only more than 200 yuan. I have to get a new bank card for this money, and the salary will not be paid until next month. I simply give up, and five days is equal to nothing.
It is too difficult for social terrorists to pretend to be socially arrogant.
Lei Zhang, female, 27 years old, runs an Internet company.
"I was blamed by my former boss for not being integrated into the collective, and now I have PTSD."
As a social phobia, what I hate most is the company’s league building.
The last company held a group building, and the boss organized a trip to Thailand. Because I don’t like chatting with unfamiliar colleagues, another good female colleague and I always like to act alone.
One night, the boss wanted to organize singing K, and colleagues sent "received" one after another. I really didn’t like the noisy atmosphere of KTV, so I refused directly in the group.
As a result, the boss sent me several WeChat messages that night, directly reprimanding me for not having team consciousness and acting too self-consciously. This problem needs to be corrected.
It is estimated that I left a very bad impression on my boss that time. One week after I came back from the League Construction, my boss found me because of some mistakes in my work, and dismissed me because of "incompetence".
At my age, I have experienced too many interviews, and I am no longer a white boy in the workplace. I can know what kind of people the interviewer likes and how to answer them to satisfy the interviewer.
In the future interview, I will deliberately avoid my shortcomings and even beautify it. When the interviewer asked me about my communication skills and management skills, I listed myself as the deputy head of the project in the past, led the team to do a good job, and boasted about the achievements I had made.
In fact, I did have the experience of leading a team, but the reality is not as perfect as I said. Many of the achievements of the project are attributed to my colleagues, but for the sake of offering, I can only attribute all the credit to myself for the time being.
After listening to my "beautified version" of self-introduction, the interviewer really showed a satisfied smile.
After working for a long time, I can also hear the "subtext" of the workplace. When the interviewer then asked me what my salary expectations were and where my family lived, I knew very well that it was my intention to be admitted.
Sure enough, I received an offer a few days later, and my salary was 20% higher than before, but I was not very happy. The closer I get to the formal employment, the more serious my anxiety is. I am afraid that after I join the job, my boss will find that I am not as good as the "performance" in the interview, and I can’t even integrate into the group. What should I do in the end?
Wang Jian, male, aged 29, is the department director of an Internet manufacturer.
"In order to deal with difficult bosses, customers and subordinates, it is hard to force social arrogance."
I have always been a veteran social phobia patient, but my colleagues don’t think so.
It’s all because I performed well enough.
I am the department manager of a big factory. For a while, the performance of my department was not very good. After the leaders put pressure on me, I went to the company at nine o’clock every day and then left at ten o’clock in the evening.
My principle is, I must let my efforts be seen, and only what I see is meaningful.
Sometimes when I have a dinner appointment with the leader, I will "add drama" to myself in time, and say in the most ordinary tone what mask I am wearing recently, because I have worked overtime and stayed up late recently, trying my best to show my hard work in front of the leader.
Although I am very strict with my subordinates at work, I don’t want to be a boss with only a negative impression. I think everyone will listen to your command only if they recognize you first. Simply speaking, it is easier to find the "receiver".
I ask my subordinates to punch in before ten o’clock every day. In order to help my colleagues share the task happily, after the wolf management, I will buy fruit snacks for my colleagues from time to time, organize dinner parties, praise a colleague who works hard directly, and even praise him to the point of embarrassment, slap him and give him a sweet date.
I will always be the most active one in the company’s annual meeting, wine bureau and group building activities. I am afraid that the atmosphere will be cold, and I will take the initiative to praise my female colleague "You look really good today"; Toast with the leader on the wine table, compliment a few words of "thanks to the leadership’s hard work" and "thanks to the leadership’s promotion", then pretend to be grateful, coax the superior to be elated, and blow his own performance by the way. The leader doesn’t know the real situation, but he believes it anyway.
In front of customers, I also try my best to perform "social arrogance", treating each customer as my own relative. I will preview hundreds of dialogue scenarios with customers in advance, boasting about how powerful the products are, and pledging to guarantee the performance with customers before talking about a project, but I have no idea about the actual results.
My "social arrogance" is all forced by work.
I have a leader, who is the real social genius and the core of social field. He can participate in various activities without being tired at all.
But I can’t. I output to customers and colleagues during the day, and I need to go home alone for a long time at night to regain my energy, read books and play games. No one is allowed to disturb me during this time.
None of my colleagues know this.
Ding Feng, male, 27 years old, product manager of startup company.
"Always switch between social arrogance and social fear mode"
After graduation, I worked in a startup company for three years, all the way to the position of department leader. Last year, I wanted to jump ship for a raise, and a friend of a big factory said that he could help me push it inside.
I’ve always wanted to go to a big factory. I heard from a friend that their company is looking for an experienced supervisor. During the interview, I tried my best to be very sophisticated. I talked about my own views on a product issue, and even the interviewer had to interrupt me several times because of the long time.
Because I have been an interviewer before, I even caught the interviewer several times and asked him how to deal with it in this situation.
I thought I was doing well, but I didn’t expect to fail in the end. Later, I heard from a friend that the leader felt that I was a little arrogant at that time, and I was expected to be an unruly advocate, so I was directly given pass on the spot.
This also taught me a lesson that "social arrogance" is not always easy to use.
Later, there was another job-hopping opportunity. With experience, I decided to put away my edge this time, honestly follow the interviewer’s questions, ask questions one by one, and don’t talk too much.
The result was still rejected, on the grounds that it was not imposing enough, and I am afraid it is difficult to convince people to give the management post offer.
With these failures, I found that it is most important to be myself.
In fact, my personality is not extreme, neither a strong social arrogance nor a social phobia that hates dealing with people. Don’t perform in the workplace. It’s best to reveal your true character to the interviewer and find a job that suits you.
Sun Yue, Lei Zhang, Wang Jian and Ding Feng are all pseudonyms.
This article is from WeChat WeChat official account Alphabet List (ID:wujicaijing). Author: Xing Siyuan, published by 36Kr with authorization.